i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
