oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
