Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The maid of honor just puked.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
