I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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