He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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