My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
