it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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