my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you will always have a special place in my vag
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
