Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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