Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
