i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
