Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
