i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
