GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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