She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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