She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize