woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize