Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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