I faked an abortion last night.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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