is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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