Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
