I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
