True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize