I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
