Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
