I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
