I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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