Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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