morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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