You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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