someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
