Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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