if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Randomize
