$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
