forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
