I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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