he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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