i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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