Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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