she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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