it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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