So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
