just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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