I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want a musical about memes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
