I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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