I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
