He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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