First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need moral support for this bender
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
