just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just want to make out with him forever
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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