You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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