WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize