when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
