babies were throwing up all over the place
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
