..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
