i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
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Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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