Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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