is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it penis luge time yet?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
