Sry I called you an 8
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
