would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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