if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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