you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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