is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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