fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
