Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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