the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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