I wish I could punch you in the face.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
